The Anti-Twilight Lexicon

Because Plots Rock!

Rabid Fangirls

The Rabid Fangirl is a strange species, indeed.  She is born a human, then exposed to books with hypnotizing texts, causing the female to develop a strong obsession for certain fictional characters.  Some side effects involve excessive squeeing, wasting money on worthless products, and a porcupine-like defense system for all things opposing them.

 Be wary, fellow humans.  The Rabid Fangirl is a dangerous thing.

Some common symptoms include but is not limited to:

  •  sleeping with ice packs
  • owning a 'Rob-on-a-stick' (Creepy Youtube video)
  • making their significant other wear body glitter
  • Nicknaming themselves after a Twilight character
  • making their parents or themselves replace their current car with silver Volvos
  • teen pregnancies
  • Limiting their music interest to Paramore, Muse, and Debussy. (No offense if you actually do.)

Other Resources:
(WARNING: Explicit Content!)
Encyclopedia Dramatica

Rabid Twi-Tard Car

Yes, it's not enough to be obsessed enough with the series to go to DVD release party at Hot Topic, or bring your laptop so you can watch the movie immediately after getting it on DVD, no, to be a "good" Twitard, you have to go above and beyond.

I, for a lack of a good reason so I'll please temporary insanity, went to a Twilight DVD release party. There, I not only found crazy fans, but I also found a car with Twilight stuff all over it. Not only did they have Twilight written on the car, but in the windows they had pictures of the characters. On the hood and the trunk there were also pictures, also on the hood and trunk (and also elsewhere on the car) there were quotes from the movies. And they were the type of quotes like "You're like my own personal brand of heroin" and "Your scent is like a drug to me." or somethings of that extent. I found this so hysterical that I tried taking as many pictures as I could. Alas, I had only my phone, so I only have one low-res picture of this car. 

-Kat, April 13 2009 (edited 22 October 2009)

Comments Left by Rabids on below link:

From MTV News

"Those that didn't like Breaking Dawn (aka the rotten dim-witted brats that can rot in hell) obviously don't have the brain power to really understand the characters they claim to have loved in the former books." -Blood Fae

"I AM GETTING SO SICK OF THESE SO CALLED TWILIGHT FANS !!!!!! I LOVED BREAKING DAWN AND I THINK SOME OF THE YOUNGER FANS JUST CAN'T RELATE TO BELLA BEING PREGNANT AND THEY DON'T REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT NESSIE WAS AND ONE DAY THESE TEENY BOPPER CRY BABIES WILL BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT STEPHENIE WAS TRYING TO PORTRAY !!! AND EW MAGAZINE CAN SUCK A BIG ONE TOO AND THE FANS NEED TO GET OVER IT IF YOUR A FAN YOU'LL FIND SOMETHING YOU LOVED !!! TEAM STEPHENIE LOVE YA !!!! I'M ALWAYS GOING TO BE A TWILIGHT FAN !!!!" -LovedBREAKINGDAWN

"OH YEA RETURN YOUR BOOK CRY BABIES TWILIGHT DOESN'T NEED STUPID FANS LIKE YOU ANYWAYS !!!!"-LovedBREAKINGDAWN on a different page

"YOU HATE ONE OR TWO THINGS ABOUT THE BOOK AND ALL OF SUDDEN MAKES THE BOOK STUPID AND DUMB AND WANT TO RETURN IT SORRY THAT'S CHILDISH !!!! TEAM TWILIGHT !!!!!" -Same person as before

"BREAKING DAWN WAS GREAT ! AND STEPHENIE TOO BAD YOUR MORMON YOU SHOULD OF TOLD THEM TO FU*K OFF !!!!" -And again (Please note that these were all written at different times..  Talk about a DIE hard fan.

"I loved BREAKING DAWN and WE love you Stephenie !!! AND DON'T LISTEN TO THE OTHER LOSERS THEY WERE REAL FANS TO BEGIN WITH !!!! You can disagree because we have diff. opinions but DON'T DISRESPECT HER !!!!!" -LovedBREAKINGDAWN (Again, on a later page)

"I can't BELIEVE someone would even say don't burn them return them!!! I mean come on what idiot came up with that!!!! yea that's right whoever made that qoute up and is dissing stephenie meyer- the best writer of all time- is an idiot and they can kiss my you know what!!! If you didn't like the book fine whatever whop-di-do no big deal but don't go as far as to diss the author world wide!!!!! And for the ppl that agreed with that person and dissed meyer with whats "ITS" FACE HOW DARE YOU!!! you must not be Twilight fans AT ALL!!!!! cuz no matter what you defend stephenie not be little her!!!!! I would like to add alot more but I don't think it they would let me post it all I have to say to the person that started the thread and to the ppl who went a long with it is that you DISGUST ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" -twilighter01

"I LOVED BREAKING DAWN!!!!!!!!!! y r ppl so stupid!! stop being stupid and rude DONT LISTEN TO THEM STEPHENIE!!!!!!!! U ROCK!!!!!!!!:-D LOL" -jnnfr2916

"ok i have 2 say i love the book of course i did how can i not it waz great iam not going 2 lie it wasent want i expected. i expected it 2 be almost the way i love the book twilight but it wastent :( iam kinda upset of wat ive read let me say i havent finsih iam in pg 700 its not that iam slow i just really dont want 2 finish i know iam goin 2 cry wen i do but stephenie dont worry u did great ur an amazing writer i loved da book i realy wanna know the end i hope iz not something bad iam scared lol" -cindy pattinson

"[If] u hatted the book ur probly no a real die hard fan in the 1st place!!" -awesome_randomness

 
Meyer, look at the kind of fans you have. -Myn

Rabid Fangirl Accounts

(Taken from a forum at brokencontrollors.com)
"I just read a testimony of how a 15 year old had sex because she thought it's what girls want thanks to Bella."
"Twilight, making teens pregnant since 2005."

My friend doesn't allow me to bash Twilight in case I ruin it for her. Said friend is on her second copy of Twilight after her first copy was torn to shreds with "love." Another of my good friends, wrote in my yearbook telling me 'Bella is NOT a Mary-Sue.''

These fans make me scared, they're the reason I created this site. The hard-core ones can be vicious and not understand when to let things go.

 

Objective: Secure the removal of 'Twilight' from Myn's school reading list

Rabid Twi-Moms

Rabid Twi-Moms can be more scary the fangirls, some have been known to forget to pick up their children because they're chatting away on TwilightMoms.com.

There have also been accounts of forums for Twi-Moms dreaming of taking Robert Pattinson (Edward) and Taylor Lautner's (Jacob) virginity. Rob we can shudder and understand, but Taylor's like 15/16.

 Also, this video shows Twi-Moms asking Taylor (who I don't think was seen in the vid) and Rob if they wear boxers/briefs/or nothing. Talk about twisted.