The Anti-Twilight Lexicon

Bella tortures Alice, Edward dumps her, she marries some guy

named Rodolphus with a brother named Rabastan

and we all just call this a badly-written Harry Potter fanfic.

It'll fit in that way!!
-Kat

 ---

 And Bella's shiny new Guardian went and flew off the edge of the cliff.  The still human Bella sank slowly, unable to open the car doors and her body decayed at the bottom of the ocean.  Edward's tears would have flowed down his stone cheeks if they could, and he furiously pounded on the unbreakable glass windows, helplessly watching Bella's descent.

Because that's what love is for.
-Myn